Behind closed doors: confronting coercion and control in multigenerational homes
Hundreds of Muslim and BME women in Scotland are reporting abuse not from partners, but from in-laws and extended family, yet the law doesn’t recognise it. Amina MWRC is fighting to change that, shedding light on a hidden form of coercive control and pushing for a more inclusive, intersectional approach to domestic abuse policy.
By Samar Jamal | Illustrations by Laura Wade
“In just six months we received 332 calls from BME (Black and Minority Ethnic) women reporting extended family abuse,” says Safa Yousaf, Project Coordinator for Amina’s Violence Against Women and Girls programme.
These calls revealed a hidden and often overlooked dimension of domestic abuse – one that Amina – The Muslim Women’s Resource Centre (Amina MWRC) is working to bring to light.
Amina is an organisation dedicated to supporting the social welfare of Muslim, BME women in Scotland. The Southside-based organisation, which first opened its doors in 2002, works on two levels; advocating for policy change and providing services to Muslim, BME women that considers their specific experiences.
Their report, Sabr, Silence and Struggles: Extended Family Abuse in Muslim, BME Communities in Scotland, outlines the ‘need for practice and policy to adopt an intersectional framework when addressing and responding to domestic abuse, coercive control and gender-based violence more widely.’ It comes as a much needed call for change, as Scotland's current Domestic Abuse Act (2018) only identifies perpetrators of domestic abuse as intimate or ex-partners.
Amina is working to highlight the impact extended family abuse has on BME women. Their report shows that, for Muslim, BME women, coercive control perpetuated by extended family members, such as in-laws, can be more common. Particularly as multigenerational homes are common in some cultures, including people from South Asian backgrounds.
“Coercive control is when there’s a repetitive pattern of abusive behavior that isn't necessarily physical, but it's controlling behavior and emotional abuse,” Safa explains.
If extended family abuse was enshrined in law, coercive control charges brought against an intimate partner would account for the involvement of extended family abuse, potentially leading to harsher penalties. This distinction is critical, as abusers often enlist family members to reinforce control, deepen the survivors' isolation, and sustain a cycle of oppression, making it even harder for the abused to seek support.
Scotland’s 2018 Domestic Abuse Act is already viewed as the gold standard, due in no small part to the fact that it considers American sociologist Evan Stark's definition of coercive control. This reconceptualises domestic abuse as an ongoing behaviour opposed to viewing it as isolated incidents. It also recognises that structural gender inequalities are both a cause and effect of domestic abuse.
Interviews with survivors in Amina’s report record some of the abuse women were subjected to. One interviewee said: “All my in-laws abused me because my mother-in-law controlled the entire household.” Similarly, another woman recalls, “I was childcare for my sister-in-law. She had a job. I wasn’t allowed.”
Legally recognising extended family abuse would not only grant survivors protection but it would spark conversations around the topic and validate the survivors experience. Safa recalls incidents where survivors have reported abuse to the police but they’ve not been able to provide any support as it’s not categorised as abuse, causing them to suffer in silence.
“Unfortunately, [the survivors] end up feeling like justice has not been served because there isn’t a way to report it. Often they will call Amina, seeking support – even emotional support – just so that somebody at the end of the phone can say, ‘Look, that is abuse and that shouldn't have happened to you,’” Safa explains.
“When the police are saying this is not what we can help you with, what the survivor might be hearing is that what they're experiencing isn't important or bad enough.”
In other instances, some support services don’t have the cultural knowledge or understand how detrimental family abuse can be for Muslim and BME women. When this understanding falls short women are left without the support they need.
One statement from the report states: “The refuge didn’t ask me or care about the abuse I experienced from my in-laws.”
Although Amina are dedicated to supporting Muslim and BME women, they are limited on the support they can provide due to funding and constraints within the law.
“If the law was to change and include extended family within the course of control legislation or domestic abuse legislation, it would give women power to feel that, ‘yes, this is problematic, and therefore justice needs to be served,’” Safa adds.
While the Scottish Government has been receptive to Amina’s report and is working with them to incorporate these recommendations, there is a concern that the intersectional experiences of marginalised communities are not a priority for the government, Safa says.
This is why Amina is striving to decolonise definitions within the Domestic Abuse Act, ensuring they reflect the nuanced realities of diverse experiences. This year, they will launch a campaign addressing intimate image abuse – the act of sharing intimate images that may have been consented to taking but not for sharing.
“We’re hoping that the legislation can encompass and provide further protections for women. At the moment it's such a strict category of what is considered an intimate image which doesn't entirely reflect Muslim and BME women’s experiences.
“For many Muslim and BME women, images shared are not necessarily of a sexual nature but are still very problematic. Such as their bare arms, legs or a photo without a hijab,” Safa explains.
Amina's efforts to shift the narrative around domestic abuse extends beyond policy advocacy to fostering constructive conversations within communities. By engaging young men and religious scholars, Amina seeks to challenge cultural perceptions, patriarchy and intergenerational trauma – factors that often underpin and perpetuate abuse.
Past workshops run by Amina, like The Best of Men, led by Muslim scholar Hassan Rabbani have addressed healthy relationships, the responsibilities of men, and Islam’s stance on gender roles, consent and marital rape.
Similarly, Amina has organised seminars for women on topics such as healthy relationships, narcissism and consent in Islam, creating a more approachable space for attendees to engage with sensitive issues.
But, as a single organisation, Amina's reach is limited. They urge religious spaces and community groups to take up the mantle, raising awareness and steering these critical conversations toward cultural and systemic change. By working together, communities can help dismantle the structures that enable abuse and empower survivors to seek justice and support.
If you or someone you know has been affected by domestic abuse you can get in touch with Amina by calling their helpline on 0808 801 0301 from Monday to Friday, 10-4pm. You can also get in touch by email: helpline@mwrc.org.uk.